Potty Mouth

When I first began writing this blog, a friend let me know that she'd recommended it to others in our church with a caveat about my swear words. I belong to an incredible church family, full of compassion, full of love, but maybe not so full of debatable language. I have a feeling I am the only one who has ever regularly used the phrase "pissed off" in Bible study. But they let me come anyway, so I do.

I am not what you'd call a "good Christian." I don't bring my Bible to church so that I can follow along dutifully as my pastor reads the scripture before the sermon. I mean, it's printed right there in the pamphlet-- who needs the extra accoutrements-- and besides, I'm pretty sure my Bible is still in a box in the garage from the move (four months ago, but who's counting?). I don't have patience for Christian radio. I have been known to throw down multiple appletinis at couples' game night. I would never, ever, not in a gazillion years homeschool my kids-- I screw them up enough in the few hours a day I already have them.

So, obviously my compass of Proper Christian Behavior is a little crooked. You will have to excuse me if I find the pointed use of such descriptive terms as "asshole" to be morally acceptable. Clearly, my standards just aren't that high.

Now, I am not going to call you up and start screaming obscenities in your ear. I am not going to teach your children how to spell "jackass" at Sunday School. But a blog is not an intrusive medium. If you are offended by my language, you are quite free to click the little x. And so I will feel free to use language that I find suitable to my point.

I realize I might be able to gain greater (Christian) readership if I swapped out every "shit" for a "crap." And for that matter, I'd probably also gain greater (non-Christian) readership if I traded every "Jesus" for a "spirit of human kindness." But the first exchange would compromise the integrity of my writing, just as the second, the integrity of my soul.

There are good arguments for Christians' abstaining from this kind of language. To me, the best one is that it has been pressed on their hearts. If God wants to lay that one on me, I'm sure he will, and I hope I'll heed him. But so far, I haven't felt the conviction. If you have, I respect that, and I will be careful in conversation not to use words that would offend you or derail your walk. And as much as I want you to read my writing, if it would similarly offend or derail, then I hope you will not.

I have read the argument that we must not use "worldly" language just to make ourselves relatable to non-Christians. And insofar as that means not just spouting off for show, I agree-- no one is won over to anything by fakeness. But what gets me is the hint of superiority that I can feel tugging behind it.

I recently read a comment on another blog dealing with the issue, and the commenter suggested of non-Christians' propensity for swearing, "Just figuring what's in their heart is what flows out of their mouth, if you know what I mean." Oh yes, Self-righteous Sammy, I know exactly what you mean. You mean that now that you've been saved, you're a perfect little dear. You mean that you haven't a bit of ugly in your heart anymore. And I just have to call, "bullshit."


If you've ever refused to forgive or had a moment of road rage, then you have damning in your heart. If there's one pesky part of your character you'd just as soon be rid of, then you have shit in your soul. And if you've so much as looked at a pair of breasts when you should have been looking at a pair of eyes, then you guessed it, there's an F-bomb ticking away.


A friend's mother once instructed her that using vulgar language in writing was disrespectful to her readers. The way I see it, it would be disrespectful of me to pretend for you that I am better than I am. It would say that I don't care enough to be honest and transparent with you. I believe Jesus is working to clean up the shit in my heart-- maybe he just hasn't gotten to the language yet. Maybe he's even using the language to show you that if he can work on me, he can work on anyone.


My friend Erin told me that she doesn't believe there is such a thing as a "bad Christian." She said, "I believe God either loves you or he doesn't." And that really knocked the wind out of me for about three days. Because all I could think was that I was so grateful it didn't matter that I'm not a "good Christian"-- I have God's love, and, damn, that feels good.